It could be a true story
Another hit
Posted:Dec 8, 2019 11:58 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 3:38 am
19 Views

A woman wakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his Coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" She whispers as she steps into the room, why
are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only . Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my , or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
I would have got out today😂
0 Comments
Another funny joke
Posted:Dec 7, 2019 1:44 am
Last Updated:Dec 7, 2019 10:42 am
21 Views

A small church had a very attractive big-busted organist, Tracey, and her breasts were so large that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled.
They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another organist.
So one of the ladies approached Tracey very discreetly about the problem, and told her to mash up some green astringent persimmons and rub them on and over her breasts, which should cause them to shrink in size, but warned her not to taste any of the green persimmons, because they are so sour they will make her mouth pucker up, and she wouldn't be able to talk properly for a while.
The voluptuous organist reluctantly agreed to try it.
The following Sunday morning the minister walked up to the pulpit and said, "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hab a thermon tew.😂😂😂😂😂😂
0 Comments
Even More Humour
Posted:Nov 28, 2019 2:24 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 3:38 am
94 Views

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.
The waiter, is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from
there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
"Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
"Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."
Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen.
He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."
0 Comments
more humour
Posted:Nov 26, 2019 7:16 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2019 3:38 am
102 Views

A farmer decided he wanted go town and see a movie. As he approached, the ticket agent asked, “Sir, what’s that on your shoulder?”

The old farmer said, “That’s my pet rooster Chuc Wherever I go, Chuck goes.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” said the ticket agent. “We can’t allow animals in the theater.”

The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed Chuck down his overalls. Then he returned the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theatre. He sat down next old widows named Mildred and Marge.

The movie started and the rooster began squirm. The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie.

“Marge,” whispered Mildred.

“What?” said Marge.

“I think the guy next to me is a pervert.”

“What makes you think so?” asked Marge.

“He undid his pants and he has his thing out,” whispered Mildred.

“Eh, don’t worry about it,” said Marge. “At our age we’ve seen ’em all.”

“I thought so too,” said Mildred, “but this one’s eating’ my popcorn!
0 Comments
Humour
Posted:Nov 22, 2019 10:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 23, 2019 12:08 pm
195 Views

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mum he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old .
Johnny's says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's . "He's taken her appendix out
0 Comments
A winters tale
Posted:Nov 17, 2019 10:20 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2019 11:48 pm
335 Views

It snowed last night... 😈8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8: - A feminist passed by and asked why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up .

8:40 - The Police arrived saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

8:45 - TV news crew from ABC showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9: - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My were taken by social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street demanding for be arrested.

By noon it all melted

Moral:

There is no moral this story. It is what we have become, all because of snowflakes.
2 Comments

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Most Recent Comments by Others

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A winters tale (2)Gina_L07
Nov 26, 2019 7:19 am