Should I go to a ?  

whoisagentj 49M
692 posts
7/10/2019 6:30 am

Last Read:
7/25/2019 6:40 am

Should I go to a ?

Yesterday I talked to one of my posters here and he suggested that because of my feelings of needing someone physical and because I haven't had sex in a long time, that I might consider seeing a "woman", in order to fulfill my need for intimacy and physical sex.
Now normally I wouldn't consider doing this, paying someone for sex. And I don't look down on sex workers for the most part, because sometimes they fill the needs of people who are lonely. Now, I've never gotten a sex worker before. I have considered it in the past, but never acted on it. The thought of me paying for sex is normally not something I would consider doing. And right now, the thought of me spending over a couple hundred dollars for an hour of sexual gratification...I could be using that to pay down my bills to improve my situation. On the other hand, it's tempting.

So at this time...I'm torn between the idea of actually doing this and not doing it. I really don't know what to do. Part of me wants to do it. Another part of me is saying "Are you sure you want to do this?"

What are your thoughts on this? Would you ever consider using a sex worker? And if you have used one before, what were your thoughts before and after?

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Why none other than...


pocogato12 67F  
27817 posts
7/22/2019 9:00 am

In areas outside the US where sexual services are legal 99% of them are continually screened for STDs. Personally, as dry as my life is right now I would not even consider reaching out for a man for pay.. Just a personal boundary I have to keep. Having done a wee bit of internet research in NYC and DC some of the Escort services charge $1000 and hour and the service keeps 50%. Other areas the fees are considerably lower even down to $100/hr .But that's also money that could have been better spent with longer range of benefits

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whoisagentj replies on 7/25/2019 6:40 am:
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to take a trip to another country for it to be legal. And I've seen some of the prices for the higher priced escorts which is ridiculous. I mean they look great, but I'm not spending 500-1000 bucks for an hour.

Mancrotchwatcher 57M
174 posts
7/16/2019 2:33 pm

Hmmm.....I always said that I’d never do it, but last year just about the time I found, I was considering engaging the services of a professional gentleman. I had some good luck on this site shortly after joining, so the whole idea faded from my mind.

Things were a bit dry in Chicago until recently, and while I’d still like to think that I’d never pay for sex, I realize that Im of the age where I’m not looked at “in that way” like I was in years past. If things stayed dry in my sex life, I’d not hesitate to pay for some quality male companionship. But that’s me.

Its probably harder for you to wrap your mind around the idea since you’re looking for something more meaningful, and using a pro is clinical and transactional rather warm and meaningful.

You just have to look deep inside yourself for the answer.

whoisagentj replies on 7/25/2019 6:38 am:
I'll be honest, I'm still very much undecided about doing this. And while I was going to have the extra money this pay period to do this, and I was thinking about it, because of the recent fender bender I had, I have to dump that money into the auto insurance deductible, so that money's now going to be wiped out. So even if I wanted to do it, I couldn't because of money issues.

Life is grand!

Mancrotchwatcher 57M
174 posts
7/16/2019 7:17 am

That’s a very personal decision, Agent, that only you can make.

I get what you say about the expense, but for a more clinical look, just consider the numbers and think of all the energy, time, and money you’d spend going on a traditional “date”, with no guarantee of a happy ending. I’m guessing a working girl would cost a couple hundred, and even though you seem to want more of a relationship than a transaction, maybe the value proposition is there to see a pro?

How would you feel after? Renewed and satisfied for awhile? Dirty and ashamed? As I said, it’s very personal. Think it through.

As far as age, bite your tongue young sir! I’m nearly a decade older than you. I keep waiting for the libido to realize that I’m closer to 60 than 50, but I’m still as horny as a 20-something! Perhaps there is a little depression as others mentioned; you do have a very full plate. It can be exhausting, and sleep is very important. Just remember to treat yourself well and be true to yourself. Peace.

whoisagentj replies on 7/16/2019 10:54 am:
Looking at it financially, I can see what you are saying. I'm still unsure about it from that point, because I could use the money to knock down my debt, but at the same time, it's been a long while since I've had any physical relations.

From an emotional point, that I don't know. I think getting it out of the way, I'd feel good at first, but afterwards I don't know how I'd feel.

thax013 42M
1089 posts
7/13/2019 9:17 pm

Oh wow. I wanted to read some of the responses, and I see none.

I have never approached one, first, I promised myself I would not pay for seX a long time ago. Second, in many places, it is illegal, and I am naive enough to be unable to tell if it was a worker, or a policewoman. Third, I have always heard that they are most likely to have the dreaded StDs. I would be so mad at myself if I contracted something. Are these good reasons? Are they even accurate? Or are they just something to be aware of?

At work, it is common for us to get approached by ... workers. A few have even ... flashed the goods. We are allowed to look (who wouldn’t?) but we cannot approach or give them anything resembling money or goods. Every city resident is effectively our boss, and if we get a complaint called in about it, then it is very easy to be fired. So it is extreme hands off with witnesses.

Visit my blog if you want to at thax013 and thank you very much!

whoisagentj replies on 7/15/2019 6:30 am:
You know thax, I was expecting a TON of responses and you're the only one that replied.

I thought long and hard on this one. I was planning on seeing an escort, but I decided against it. I just can't justify spending money like that for an hour of pleasure. It's not that I wouldn't spend that type of money, like going to a fancy dinner, going out on the town, stuff like that, but something in my head just says don't do it. It's like an invisible line. Once you cross it, I don't know if I could ever go back, you know?

And the other thing is definitely that a lot of sex workers do have STD's. So for me, I'd be afraid of that as well. But it's not uncommon for other women to have STD's. You just have to be careful and wear a condom and protect yourself.

whoisagentj 49M
6035 posts
7/10/2019 6:31 am

Definitely would like to hear what you think on this one...

Who can you call on to save the day?

Why none other than...


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